β˜… ONE NIGHT ONLY β˜… AND ALSO EVERY OTHER NIGHT β˜…

The Kentlands Athletic & Pizza Commission presents

the TITO'S MAIN EVENT PIZZA

RED CORNER DAD keeper of the dough Β· giver of nicknames
vs*
BLUE CORNER GRAY "TITO" in the kitchen since age three

*not actually against each other. same corner. always have been.

SEE THE FIGHT CARD
NEAPOLITAN Β· NEW YORK Β· 900Β° Β· NO REPLAYS
NOT
OPEN
YET

THE ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH

Gray wants the mic. So the mic is the first thing on the page. Put a name in, hit the button, and the building finds out who just walked in.

Best with the volume up. If the voice doesn't work on your phone, the lights still do.

JUMBOTRON
standing by

TONIGHT'S FIGHT CARD

Every pie gets a ring name, a record and a finishing move. Tap one to see the tale of the tape.

Card subject to change. Dad reserves the right to add something.

TALE OF THE TAPE

Pick two. Argue about it. That's dinner.

RED
VS
BLUE

Judges are still eating.

THE DOUGH β€” ROUND BY ROUND

Six rounds from flour to face. Ring the bell to move on.

CLASSIFIED

THE RECIPE

Held by one man. Never written down. Passed corner to corner.

 

"I couldn't tell you the dough recipe." β€” Gray, on the record

THE ROOM

Gray's floor plan, exactly as he described it: a ring in the middle, a mic hanging over it, tables all the way around. Tap anything.

THE RING MIC ↓ 900Β° BELL THE BELT GAME'S ON

BURGUNDY & GOLD NIGHTS

When Washington plays, the room changes color.

Commanders on the big screen. Wizards on the small one. Burgundy and gold on everything else. The Burgundy & Gold comes out of the oven at kickoff and doesn't come back.

"We've bonded over those. Honestly he might just like them because I do β€” which is a pretty great dad thing to do."

TWO CORNERS, ONE TEAM

β€œThere's no one big memory. It's just always been the thing we do.”

Gray, asked for his favorite pizza night
RED CORNER

DAD

  • Been making pizza a lot longer than Gray's been alive.
  • Bought a real oven. On purpose. That's a statement.
  • Keeps the dough recipe in his head and nowhere else.
  • Hands out nicknames like a cornerman hands out water.
  • Cooks healthy β€” but never in an annoying way.
BLUE CORNER

GRAY β€œTITO”

  • First dough at three years old. Never stopped.
  • Wants the mic, the mitts and the menu.
  • Boxing, the Commanders, the Wizards, and a hot oven.
  • Named the restaurant before it existed. That counts.
  • Plans to scale the recipe up. Way up.
THE THIRD CORNER

GRIFFIN β€” also has a nickname, also eats his weight, also in it. Undercard on paper only.

WHY β€œTITO'S”

Because that's what Dad calls him. Tito. Tito Tito. You don't get to pick your nickname β€” that's the whole point of one. It gets given to you by somebody who's paying attention.

Putting it on a sign is just making it official.

THE HOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP

TITO'S CHAMPION

CURRENT HOLDER β€” TITO'S OWN, undefeated

Changes hands about once a year, usually to whatever Dad tried last Friday.

THE OPENING BELL

TITO'S isn't open.

Not yet. Right now it's a dad, a kid, an oven somebody bought on purpose, and a dough recipe nobody's writing down.

Every restaurant was somebody's kitchen first.

0 bells rung on this page

ROUND 1 OF ∞